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Ceremonies & Children

Massachusetts Wedding Ceremony - Children & Ceremonies
Credit : The Henry Studio

Deciding on whether or not to have children in your wedding ceremony is a difficult one. You may have a niece, nephew, younger sister or brother that you want to include in your wedding party, however, you need to think twice before you ask them.

The thought of a young child dressed in wedding finery makes most hearts melt. However, reality may be that the child will panic and refuse to walk down the aisle or perhaps throw a tantrum in front of your guests. Children are unpredictable.

If you can accept whatever happens, then by all means, have children in your wedding. They will add joy and charm to your ceremony.

Roles for Children in the Wedding

Alternative Items for a Flowergirl

The flower girl doesn't have to carry a basket of flowers. Here are a few alternative items that she can carry:

  • A photograph of a special relative
  • The Bible
  • A small lantern
  • Basket of candy
  • An arrangement for the altar
  • Her favorite toy

Tips for Children in Wedding

  • Remember to dress children comfortably. Have the flower girls’ dress complement your bridesmaids' dress. Nonskid, comfortable shoes are important. If the child is uncomfortable, they will let you know!

  • Have your photographer photo the children before they get tired and restless. Candid shots of the children will look great in your wedding album.

  • Have fake wedding rings sewn to the ring bearer’s pillow. Do not sew the real wedding rings to the pillow or you may just be missing one or both by the time he reaches the altar!

  • Make sure the child knows where his mother and father will be sitting during the ceremony. This may make them feel a little bit at ease. After the child walks down the aisle he/she may be more comfortable sitting with his/her parents rather than being seated with the wedding party.

  • If the child decides not to perform his/her role, don't push. It may make matters worse!

Family Medallion Wedding Ceremony

If a parent gets remarried after a divorce or the death of their spouse, they may decide to have a family medallion ceremony. After the couple exchange wedding rings, their children join them at the altar. The couple will then place a sterling-silver medal around the neck of each child and pledge their love to them. The family medallion symbol includes three equally merged circles: two circles represent the marriage union; the third symbolizes the importance of children within the family.


When inviting children to the wedding, you should write the children’s names on the inner envelope. The outer envelope will be addressed to the parents. If a child’s name does not appear on the invitation, etiquette states that they are not invited.

Most people know the rules of etiquette, however, you may receive a response card indicating that their children will be attending. If this is the case, you will have to call them and tell them in a tactful, yet firm, way that their children are not invited. Don’t worry - most people understand that this is your big day and will honor your wishes.