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| Mountain Biking the Marriage
by Betsy Draper, Relatus | | 
Photo by Memory Lane Studios | | | | While planning a trip to Pisgah National Forest next month, I collected resources from those who have been there before - travel guides, web sites, word-of-mouth, etc. In reading Mountain Biking the Appalachians, a frame printed before the introduction of the book warned: | | | | |
| | | "There is an element of risk associated with the sport of mountain biking. This book is intended to serve as a guide to rides, not as a guarantee against injuries and getting lost." | | | | Getting injured? Getting lost? I, and others, will still mountain bike because we think it is worth the risk. We follow the trail maps, the etiquette and safety guidelines, and maintain our state-of-the-art bike equipment. | | | In planning for your wedding, hopefully, you have sought resources to prepare you for your marriage. The journey can follow tough terrain at times. There is no guarantee against injury or getting lost. And, of course, you think it is worth the risk. What can you do to minimize that risk? Are there travel guides and trail maps, guidelines and state-of-the-art tools to maintain your marriage relationship? | | | There are resources available that will help you build a strong foundation for a healthy marriage. You can pick up a book or two that will lead you through a wide range of topics. The small compact 365 Questions for Couples by Michael Beck lists conversation starters. The Marital Compatibility Test by Susan Adams reflects on the lessons learned from the author's three marriages. How Can I Be Sure? Questions to Ask Before You Get Married by Bob Phillips is written by a highly seasoned Christian counselor and an excellent resource for "nitty-gritty" questions. If you are not religious, try to look beyond the citations accordingly. | | | Another option is to enroll in a marriage preparation course. Some are offered by the officiant of your ceremony or by your church. You may want to consider an organization that specializes in life skills and relationship training, such as the Relatus Group. The Pre-Marital Seminar offered by Relatus
addresses the topics of communication, conflict resolution, finances, family
backgrounds, and family planning. Each person takes an inventory that is
sent for scoring which provides a basis for the sessions with your
consultant. | | | Even with the high risk - a divorce rate hovering at 50%, couples "in love" will still get married. And, I will still go on my mountain biking trip. But, you can bet I will have a good bike, safety equipment, and a map! | | | About the Author | | Betsy L. Draper is a consultant with the Relatus Group in Boston. She is married to her best friend, David, and has two children. |
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